Killers Trailers…

15 02 2010

I have a love/hate relationship with Ashton Kutcher….I, like most people, think that he is a douche. My personal feelings towards an actor shouldn’t cloud my judgement of an actor’s work. Thats why Ben Affleck had to go behind the camera to help his career move forward, no one could forgive him for Gigli or that Bennifer nonsense. So, trying to be a respectable critic :-), I have to separate my personal feelings for the actors… so….here’s the trailer.

Eh..Its like a bootleg version of True Lies…. It looks fun, an obvious comedic tone, and a shirtless Ashton–but do I want to spend $9 to see it.  Its directed by Robert Luketic, the man behind the shit-ta-cious The Ugly Truth and Monster-In-Law. Doesn’t exactly bode confidence, does it? don’t know…Jury’s still out on this one…..,

Shirtless Ashton and Katherine Heigel’s (meh)  Killers kills into theaters June 4, 2010.

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Mortal Kombat……SIGH…..

11 02 2010

Mortal Kombat header

It looks like the Mortal Kombat franchise is getting a reboot, of course it is. Oren Uziel is already attached to pen this potential crap-tas-tical shit bomb. Hopefully we get more cool action scenes, fighting sequences–none of that campy crap that flooded the screen in the last two. Stories that come from video games has a track record as being the opposite of awesome (i.e. awful), this reboot should learn from the previous failures and be a more focused film. Stop focusing on so many characters, just put your time and energy into one maybe 2 main protagonists and 1 villain.  Mortal Kombat is known for its graphic violence and  the fatalities at the end of the fight.






Transformers 3

11 02 2010

Is going to be in 3D….This has left me a feeling of uneasiness and a lot of questions—-How many robots will be in this one? Will it make sense? Will it still be a convoluted mess? Why is it in 3D? Will that make the story better? Is Megan Fox’s ‘boobs’ going be in 3D? Will those asshole twin auto-botes be in it (funny the first time only)?

More questions to come…….





Planet of the Apes…sigh….

11 02 2010

planet_of_apes

I have never seen the orignal Planet of the Apes, just the shit-ta-cious remake starring the ‘oscar nominted’ Marky Mark (the quotations are meant for sarcasm). That movie was hor-rib-blay!! Micheal Clark Duncan didn’t even act like a gorilla, the amazing Tim Roth was doing too much, the incredible Helena Bonham Carter is wasted in this movie, and Marky Mark just frowned a lot. Sigh..My brother and I walked to the movie theater (it was close to the house) to see that piece of garbage. Yet again, they we’re too worried about the make-up and not the cast. I still don’t see what the big deal is about Mark Whalberg as a leading man. Has anyone seen the equally shit-ta-cious Fear? How is no one else annoyed by his voice? I always thought Donnie was the better actor of the two, he always seemed to go to a much deeper place in his character. Over 20 films and a ‘oscar nom’, and Mark still hasn’t mastered anything past the surface.

So the Hollywood Head Honchos have decided to remake P of the A again. The Marky Mark one didn’t happen in this version, I guess. If only they can do the same with my memory. Along the way to production, writer/director Scott Frank (Minority Report) left the project. Street Kings writer Jamie Moss will rework Frank’s script, and the original writers, Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver will rework the dialogue. Hmm…it always makes me nervous when more writers are brought on to ‘rework’ an existing script. I get the hives just thinking about. A lot of people ‘reworked’ the Terminator Salvation script–on set!





Why….sigh……WHY?????

11 02 2010

Stretch Armstrong movie - Taylor Lautner

ARE THEY EVEN MAKING A STRETCH ARMSTRONG MOVIE!!

Yea……no answer right. Question 2- why is Taylor Lautner going to play him? Question 3-is he going to bring his cut-off jeans? Question 4-why is it going to be in 3D…….Yea, 3D, another movie that is getting the 3D treatment. So many questions…..It appears yet again that in Hollywood acting ability is not needed to be a movie star, there is a big difference between a movie star and an actor, to make it big. All you have to do is be in a shit-ta-cious popular tween movie and gained 30 lbs  of muscle, then you’ll be in-demand. He is already getting a reported 7 million dollars to star in a Northern Lights with Tom Cruise. Another movie on the pipeline for Mr. Lautner, is the big screen adaptation of the animated cartoon Max Steel…yea…..They sure are giving his muscles are work out…….sigh….wonder how the new Taylor Lautner-style Stretch Armstrong action figure will look like. The script is penned by Steve Oedekerk (Bruce AlmightyKung Pow: Enter the Fist), produced by Brian Grazer (American Gangster,The Da Vinci Code) so he might bring his partner in crime Ron Howard to direct (just a rumor)

Sigh…again I will keep you updated on this…..this…..IDK………





Daredevil

11 02 2010

daredevil reboot

So there’s going to be a Daredevil reboot……Why? I have heard rumors of this for the last 2 years but now it seems like major moves are being made to put this into fruition. One rumored canidate for the Matt Murdock/ Daredevil role was Mr. Crank(2)-Transporter(1,2,3)-I will take any movie-Jason Statham. But that was when Frank Miller (Sin City, 300) was attached to direct.

David Scarpa, the man who is responsible for that shit-ta-cious remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, is penning the script. Excuse while I vomit my fruit harvest bagel. To say that I’m not excited for this movie is an understatement. The first movie, when Colin Farrell was in his prime, was a decent attempt. The 2003 Daredevil movie starring Ben Affleck, made before the era of Batman Begins-The Dark Knight-Iron Man, three movies in my opinon that changed the landscape of comic book adaptations, had its obvious flaws but I didn’t think it was that bad. I felt that the second time, aka the sequel, would be better. Ben Affleck wasn’t bad per se as Daredevil, he was believable as blind guy who can see with his other senses. It was just that damn hair!!! I guess they want to distance themselves from the horrific Elektra. There was no excuse for that one. Elektra as a comic book is incredibly detailed and fascinating, the movie was a stiff punishment to all who watched it. I thought it was the apocalypse! (Please don’t reboot that!!)

Still of Ben Affleck in Daredevil

The hair!!

I’ll keep you updated with anymore rumors……But who do you think will be a good replacement for Ben Affleck? (Apparently the director’s cut of the movie is an overall improvement on the first. I didn’t see it but I think I will ch-ch-check it out. It has been released on BlueRay.)





Sigh..another Fast &the Fabulous-I mean Furious…..Big SIGH!!!

7 02 2010

If you’re keeping count that makes this the 5th one. 3 with Paul Walker, 2  1/2 with Vin Diesel (he had a small cameo in the 3rd), and 1 with Tyrese..sigh………..I liked the first one. I did. Paul Walker is a cutie. The way that it was filmed had a gritty feel to it, I think that with the main stars being the cars made it more authentic. As if someone with a camara phone filmed it. Yes, cheesy lines ran rampant in that movie but what can you expect? The second one was a lil more flashy. It took place in Miami, the birthplace of flash. Vin Diesel decided not to grace the screens of the second one (heard he was being a diva and asking for more money), we got introduced to Tyrese. They give him some background story about being Paul Walker’s friend or something. Didnt matter. The villain was Hot!!! Yum! I thought that the coupling of Paul and Tyrese worked in this one, this duo naturally would continue in the third one, right? No,no,no,no. We get a new cast ala Lucas Black and Little Bow Wow…sigh….I watched it…Damn it, I watched it!! It took place in Tokyo, it has drifting, and Little Bow Wow and——I just kept wishing that a Little Wow video would come on. That wouldn’t be as bad as this movie was. Vin Diesel,promptly getting off his high horse, showed up at the end of this shit biscuit of a movie….I didnt watch all of the fourth movie. As I get older, I realized I have a limited amount of BS I can handle and this movie just—-It seemed so forced. You can tell that everyone was here for a check.

During the gap of the 1st Fast to this one, most of the main cast hasn’t had a hit movie or even an enjoyable movie. Vin managed to turn the one pretty cool character he had in his arsenal, Riddick, into a very expensive horrible joke. It’s as if he told a ‘black joke’ to President Obama during Black History month at an event honoring Harriet Tubman. It just fell flat. He turned down Triple X. Finally after the flop of his latest movie, Babylon AD, he came crawling back to the franchise that made him. Whatever kind of actor he was trying to be in The Pacifier, Dwayne Johnson took that from him. Paul Walker hasn’t fared to well either. His movies has either been released to DVD or he has had ‘seventh’ billing. Michelle Rodriguez has probably been the most successful, as far as having a pretty constant career. Most recently she had a part in the behemoth that is known as Avatar. Jordana Brewster…….yea, ’nuff said.

So why are they making a FIFTH one? It’s worldwide gross in its opening weekend stands at $102.6 million. The total worldwide gross is $407,085,500. So…..thats the reason why…..the title is Five Fast..Hopefully thats tentative.

I wonder what hip hop personality they are going to throw into this one..(FF1-JaRule,FF2 Ludicriss,FF3 Bow Wow,FF4-Tego Calderon)…just wondering……..